Everything has changed

You were here... and then you were gone.

I can't seem to stop thinking about that.

I try to go back to the memories… to visit the times we shared.

I try to hold onto the good things... the laughter, the moments, the gift of having you in my life.

I remind myself how lucky I was…

To have known you, to have loved you, to have been loved by you.

But the truth is… I miss you.

Everything has changed.

I still get up every morning...

I go through my day, I tend to my garden, I do all the things I have always done.

But then, sometimes without warning, I remember…

You are not here anymore.

Nothing is the same.

I miss you. I will always love you.

But learning how to live in a life that no longer has you in it…

Is harder than I let anyone know, harder than I can say out loud...

Even to the people closest to me.

Because I don't want them to see that sometimes… I am breaking inside.

I know I am not the only one, everyone who loves you is learning this new version of life too.

Sometimes secretly…

I think I loved you the most, and maybe you loved me that way too, maybe that is why this hurts so much.

Everything has changed. Nothing is the same.

Except this… I love you, and I always will.

That is the one thing death can not change.

xo

Gabby