Everything has changed
You were here... and then you were gone.
I can't seem to stop thinking about that.
I try to go back to the memories… to visit the times we shared.
I try to hold onto the good things... the laughter, the moments, the gift of having you in my life.
I remind myself how lucky I was…
To have known you, to have loved you, to have been loved by you.
But the truth is… I miss you.
Everything has changed.
I still get up every morning...
I go through my day, I tend to my garden, I do all the things I have always done.
But then, sometimes without warning, I remember…
You are not here anymore.
Nothing is the same.
I miss you. I will always love you.
But learning how to live in a life that no longer has you in it…
Is harder than I let anyone know, harder than I can say out loud...
Even to the people closest to me.
Because I don't want them to see that sometimes… I am breaking inside.
I know I am not the only one, everyone who loves you is learning this new version of life too.
Sometimes secretly…
I think I loved you the most, and maybe you loved me that way too, maybe that is why this hurts so much.
Everything has changed. Nothing is the same.
Except this… I love you, and I always will.
That is the one thing death can not change.
xo
Gabby
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