I want more time

Grief is a teeter-totter Grief can't seem to make up it's mind Grief has a million different colors One minute I am fine... moving through my day like I always have... and then something will trigger me... and I cry...

I find myself curled up in a ball on my couch I feel very child-like and sometimes a little alone Even though I know I am not

I am reminded AGAIN How much time I wasted I so badly want a do-over I want more time I want more time I want more time

And then there I go again... cleaning my house watching tv, making something good to eat I even laugh and sometimes I smile I might take a call from a friend... I might choose not to

I know I am not alone I know others have been through this This isn't the first time It won't be the last

As I grieve the loss of someone I love I remind myself to smile I go back into my heart and pull out a memory Savoring all of its beautiful parts And then I tuck it away... safe... for later As I know I will need to go back there again Often

I want more time I want more time I want more time

I am not alone I am sad... but I am not alone And that comforts me

Grief is chaotic, and crazy, sometimes moody, and it is also... the reaction we feel when we lose someone we love

Maybe I like grief... just a little... Because it reminds me that I was gifted love And I love... love A lot

xo Gabby