I wish you peace.

One thing I never do is interfere with the beliefs of another human being when they are dying. I don't pass judgment, I don't tell them what to think or how to feel, and I definitely do not push my thoughts or beliefs on to them.

When someone is dying, whether they have months, weeks, or days left, I do not make it about me. I lean in, and I listen without trying to fix, and I let them know they have been heard. It is at this time especially when people really open up and share their curiosities and often their fears.

Sometimes I am asked my thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and I tread very carefully in these situations.

I was talking to a woman the other day who is dying, and struggling with the life she has lived, the choices she has made, and where she will go when she dies. She was feeling unworthy of a place many refer to as heaven. She asked me what I thought.

This was my answer:

"I believe that when we die there is no judgement, you are not held back or refused at the door because of things you have done and choices you have made. I believe that your pain and suffering, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, leaves at your last breath. I believe that you are free from all of it, and it doesn't follow you. This comforts me."

I understand that some of you might not agree with this, and I respect that. But when someone is dying, and they do not have a strong faith or something that brings them peace and comfort, it is important for me to meet them where they are and help them to find a sense of peace as they near the end of their life. I want that for them.

It is often when someone is days or even hours from dying that their uncertainty is elevated, and it usually stems from a life they have lived which is now wrapped tightly with regret. I want to find a way to give them peace, but also permission to let it go. I too have made bad choices and I have things that I wish I did not say or do, and I am learning to let that go because I do not want to bring that with me when I die. I wish that for every human.

I have learned that when I let go of the things that have been done and said to me, by people who have died and even those still alive, I feel free from the weight of it all.

I think we could all practice a little more forgiveness in general, but especially for those who are dying. This does not mean condoning or approving their past, but simply saying... "I wish you peace." This is what I truly wish for everyone. Peace.

xo

Gabby