One of the things I witness most at the bedside is regret. Regret is big… we can’t help but look back and think of all the things we wish we had said or done. The most common thing that I witness is the regret of holding onto things that have long since passed, that cannot be “fixed” or changed, and how holding on to it, weighed them down so heavily, it got in the way of truly embracing their life and living it more fiercely. When you are at the end of your life, the reminder of this feels bigger and most people wish they had just let it go.
If you have heard me talk, you have probably heard me mention the “coat of many pockets.” Imagine you are wearing a coat that has many pockets and each one is filled with mud, which makes it very heavy. We know that we can just take the coat off, we know that would make everything easier… but we don’t. We trudge through each day, carrying all this weight, because somehow it seems easier. But it isn’t easier… we have become so used to carrying it, that perhaps we’ve given up hope of having another option.
You do have an option.
You can start by emptying one pocket at a time. Letting go of the smaller stuff, the stuff that is totally out of your control and cannot be done over, fixed or repaired. And as you let it go, you will feel lighter. The bigger stuff is not as easy, but I promise you that it is worth the work it will take to do it. One pocket at a time.
Let go of some of some of the anger you have held onto.
Let go of some of the sadness.
Let go of some of the disappointment.
People have let me down, and I dragged that around with me so long it became a part of me. In fact, we were so close, I struggled to let it go, worried I might not be able to live without it.
I was wrong… what I found was that the more I let it go, the lighter I became. And I felt free.
I learned how to forgive myself and others.
We only have one chance at this thing called life, don’t wait until it is almost over to realize you wasted time, wishing for more so that you can do it differently. Do it differently now…
Once a month I hold two ritual and ceremony classes, one for grief and one for forgiveness. In each one I talk about letting go and emptying the pockets... my hope is to help you to take the coat off... and live the life you have, more fully. xo
Visit my website for class information and dates.