A poem I wrote one morning when grief decided to suddenly invite itself into my sleep... totally unannounced.
I woke up early this morning
With the reminder that you are no longer here
I felt this sudden sense of sadness
And my eyes filled up with tears
The sobs are much quieter now
As if I am keeping them to myself
It’s like the ache I feel when I think of you
Is stored safely on a shelf
I can reach for it when I need to
Or pretend it isn’t there
But sometimes it sneaks up on me
A reminder that my sadness is everywhere
It’s in the songs that I hear playing
It’s in the shows that I see
It’s everything, and everywhere
It’s woven deep inside of me.
Sadness stays forever
It is never going to leave
Sometimes I am okay with it
But other times I cannot breathe
As I lay in bed and cried today
I whispered out your name
I told you that I missed you
That life will never be the same
The sadness will never leave me
Nor will the love I have for you
I’ll take it off the shelf again
It’s what I need to do
I have to work through this
All the feelings and my pain
Tears are falling from my eyes
Like a stormy winter rain
But that for me is healing
It brings comfort from the start
In many ways, each time I cry
It’s as though you are visiting from my heart
As I wipe away my tears
And take care of myself
I’ll say goodbye (again) for now
And put you back upon my shelf
by Gabrielle Elise Jimenez
