"This is Grief"

Grief is something most of us think we understand… until we realize that other feelings, emotions, and experiences we have been carrying can also be called grief.

We recognize grief when someone dies, but we don’t always recognize it when it lives quietly within us.

Grief can be related to so many things that have added to the layers of our lives.

It can be the childhood you didn’t have.

The love you deserved but never received.

The safety that was missing when you needed it most.

For me, part of my held grief comes from a deeply difficult and traumatic childhood. It is something I have had to face, unpack, and learn how to carry differently. Not because it defines me, but because it shaped parts of me that needed healing.

But that is not the only place grief has lived in my life.

Grief can also be the friendships, relationships, careers, and homes, you thought would last forever… but didn’t.

The endings you never fully understood.

The opportunities you missed.

The life you once imagined that didn’t unfold the way you hoped.

It can even be the things you chose to leave behind.

Relationships that weren’t healthy.

Versions of yourself you outgrew.

Ways of living that no longer served you.

Even when those endings are necessary…even when they are right…there can still be grief in letting them go.

Grief isn’t just about what was good, it is also about what was familiar, what was meaningful, and what was hoped for.

Grief is not only what we lose in death, it is also about everything we have carried from what was, what wasn't, and what will never be.

And sometimes, what we are feeling, sadness, anger, regret, guilt, and longing, is grief… even if we haven’t called it that yet.

Maybe that is where the healing begins, in naming it.

In recognizing that the weight you carry has a reason. Not because something is wrong with you, but because something in your life mattered.

I have come to understand that I still carry my grief…but not in the same way I once did.

Not with the same shame. Not with the same heaviness.

I see it now. I understand it. And I am learning to make peace with it.

If you are holding something that feels hard to explain…a quiet ache, a lingering sadness, or emotions that seem to come out of nowhere… there is nothing wrong with you.

There may simply be something within you that needs to be acknowledged. Something that needs a name.

You don’t have to rush to let it go.

You don’t have to force yourself to “move on.”

But you can begin by being honest with yourself.

By gently saying,“This is grief.”

And in doing so, you create space for it to be felt…to be understood…and, in time, to be carried a little more lightly.

xo

Gabby