Conversations with Grievers
- Gabrielle Elise Jimenez
- Mar 29, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Mar 29, 2023
Almost every single day I speak with someone who is either preparing to say goodbye, has just said goodbye, or is doing their best to make it through their grief journey. Grief is everywhere, and it is in everything. It’s in every song, movie, and smell that wafts through each day, with absolutely no intention of going anywhere. You can’t hide from it, you can’t ask it to go away, and you can’t pretend it isn’t there… anyone who is grieving, knows it is very, very there.
It is within the moments of grief that I experience with others, when the deep and beautiful conversations that I have with them begin. Grief is an invitation to a past, to history, to feelings, to a life that was led before it ended, and I am gifted these moments. Often.
Grief sometimes feels like the sky when it is in the process of deciding between sunshine and thunderstorms. It can be chaotic and mysterious, provoking emotions that can sometimes be painful, but more often beautiful. Conversations with grievers are like this as well… fifty shades of unpredictable colors, painting a new picture every day, sharing a different story… one that I cannot wait to hear.
Sometimes I wonder if grievers wore a pin on their shirt that read, “Please be gentle with me, grief in process,” people would be more inclined to ask questions, and check in, and sit with someone who is grieving, offering them a safe place to share their stories… at a time when most people have stopped asking.
As a griever myself, I often set a stage with conversations I am having, hoping to add a story or two about my parents, my siblings or my friends that have all died, because I never want to stop talking about them. I think that is why I lean in a little closer to other grievers, new and experienced, so I can invite them to have conversations about the people they love, reminding them to never stop talking about them.
Open yourself up to conversations with grievers, they have a lot to say about people that really matter to them, and our invitation allows their stories, and memories, to continue to be told.
xo
Gabby
You can find the pin, which was designed by Jamie Thrower, on Instagram: @queergriefclub
Sharing and learning thru this grief Journey, I picked up a book in my art room and began pasting papers, ribbons.. , writing poems, verses ..drawing flowers .. over the text of this disused old book. I thought others may need this same release. Just the simple act cutting up magazines and colouring as we did as children Brough calm to me. I began a few more and gave some away away at a carers support group. Then more to a local cancer clinic care therapy place called Bloomhill, I thought to make a fb page as I have collated many short verses .. some comic & some hopefully healing verses. Called The pages within. If u can’t share verba…
This was such a comforting article. I recently lost my granddaughter. She was 8 years old. This has been the hardest goodbye I have ever had to say. I was her primary caregiver. This is so hard even to comment.
I love this article. My mum passed away 2 years ago and I am still grieving for her, some days are ok and others are hard.
Thank you for this article. Today is the one year anniversary of when my mother went on hospice, which may seem insignificant but to me it marks the beginning of the end. It was a trigger for me today, more so than I thought it would be. She lasted 11 days. This article made my heart feel a little better today, like my grief is normal, Thank you for that.