The Joy Counter

At the end of your day, do you think about how many times you might have felt joy? I have been thinking a lot about this, especially recently. I have always been a “glass half full” kind of gal, but it seems that lately I am so overwhelmed by everything we are all having to try and navigate in our world, that I find myself focusing more on how tired I am, or sad, or scared, or everything in between. Sometimes I think I may have lost sight of joy and that makes me sad.

I looked up the definition of joy: “A feeling of great pleasure and happiness".

When was the last time you felt great pleasure or happiness?

I want to share a story with you, which will hopefully have the same effect on you, as it did on me… and perhaps you too will start finding joy in each day the way that I have. And trust me when I tell you this; when you start paying attention to the beauty, the magic, and the deliciousness of life, even in the most difficult of times, you will start to find hope again, and you may even help others do the same.

I spent time with a patient who struggled every day with being able to communicate his feelings, his needs, and his emotions. He couldn’t put all the right words together, which was hard for him, because he was very aware that we were all trying desperately to figure out what it was he wanted to say. And yet, despite his daily struggle, he was kind, gentle, and he felt love with such enthusiasm that I found myself drawn to him hoping that just a tiny bit might rub off on me so that I too could find hope, joy, and appreciation for everything, even the tiniest of things. He was one of the loveliest humans I had been gifted to share time with... and his wife followed suit.

I was sitting next to his bed one day when I looked up above his head where he had a variety of different things hanging from his grab bar. I saw a little silver box with a black knob in the center, and I asked his wife what it was. She looked at her husband and smiled, he gazed lovingly back at her, and she asked him if she could tell me. He smiled and said, “yes.”

She told me that after the months of failed treatment, and continuous reports from doctors that he would not be able to beat his diagnosis, despite how hard he tried, he understandably went to a dark place and lost sight of hope. This didn’t last long though, because he was determined that hope was within reach. They found a “tally counter” one day, and he started to play with it. I can’t remember whose idea it was, but they decided that they would use it to count their moments of joy each day. When something would happen that would make one of them smile, they would press the button and count another moment of joy. Finding joy in each day made the days a little more bearable, the darkness a little lighter, and smiles a little more frequent.

Of course I started to cry when they shared their story, and I told them how wonderful it was. I said something along the lines of, “the whole world needs a joy counter right now”.

I heard him whisper to her, “we should give Gabby a joy counter,” and she whispered back, “do you want me to give her one?” and he said, “yes.” She walked over to a dresser and rummaged around for a minute or two, returning with three small boxes that she put in front of me. In each box, was a joy counter. Each one was different, but their job was the same, and she asked me to pick one for myself. I sat there looking at the boxes with childlike enthusiasm, excited about all of the joy I too would get to count, and I settled on the blue box.

That day when I left his bedside, I clicked his joy counter. He asked me why I clicked it. I told him it was because I got to spend time with him. This became a routine for us; he would push it when I would walk in the door, and I would push it before I walked out. Both of us finding joy in one another’s company.

I am so thankful in general for the work I get to do, but even more so, for the people I meet and the lessons I collect because of them. His time with us was unpredictable, and I hoped to spend as much of it as I could with him, because he was the epitome of joy, and he was so many of the reasons I have pushed the button on my joy counter since. Their love for one another was like no other. They reminded me to appreciate everything, especially moments of joy.

We cannot wish away the difficulties our world is facing right now, and we can’t close our eyes to it hoping it all disappears when we open them again, but we can try to navigate it all in such a way that we put finding joy in our days ahead of the attention we give all the other stuff that weighs us down.

Look around you… there is joy, I truly believe that… find it… and start counting your daily joys.

xo

Gabby