This morning I sent a text message to a woman whose husband passed away. The message was one red heart, no words, just the reminder that she is not alone.
I do this often, but not every time.
Sometimes I make a connection, especially in those last few days or hours when I am at the bedside with someone saying goodbye. I know that the next morning when they wake up they will be hit with the reminder of what happened the day before, and they will feel ache, an ache they will feel for the rest of their lives. So I send a red heart text message, reminding them that I am holding space in my heart for them.
The moments we share with a loved one at the bedside are never forgotten, by them or by us. We move forward to the next patient and the next family, but they are still going to wake up every morning trying desperately to figure out how to navigate the rest of their lives. Even though they knew how things would play out, and that death was near, it does not matter how prepared you are, when that last breath is taken, it is as though you are finding out for the very first time that someone you love is going to die. And that hurts.
For those I made a connection with, the next morning I send them a text message with one red heart. Sometimes I get a wonderful message back, thanking me for being there, suggesting one day we meet for coffee or a walk. Sometimes it is a sad face and questions of how they will get through their next days and I encourage them to reach out for comfort from friends or family, or a bereavement counselor, because I can tell they need more. Sometimes I never get anything back and that is okay because I was there when they needed me and that is enough for me.
The red heart text message helps me to work through my own grief. I benefit from them too... I imagine we all would. It only takes a few seconds to send a red heart text to someone that needs to be reminded they are not alone.
xo
Gabby
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