We are never truly ready for the last breath.

No matter how much time you have had to prepare, no matter how long you have known this moment might be coming, when that last breath is taken, it can feel as though you had absolutely no idea. It is not just the ending of a life, it is the finality of it, the stillness that settles in, the deafening quiet after the sound of someone’s presence disappears. All the days, weeks, or even years of knowing this day would come do not soften the impact of that exact moment.

For the one who has been sitting at the bedside, holding vigil, showing up day after day, it is still a shock. It is still a wave that knocks the wind out of you. Preparation may help you know what to expect, but it cannot prepare your heart for the ache of that silence. And for those of us who are there in support, we must remember that “knowing” and “accepting” are not the same thing.

So, when you see someone experiencing that loss, resist the thought that they are “doing okay” just because they saw it coming. Loss does not hurt less simply because it was expected, it is final, it is real, and it changes the air they breathe. Show up for them. Give space for the depth of their grief. Let them know that you see how hard it is, even if the calendar gave them notice.

No one is every truly ready… and knowing it is coming doesn’t make it hurt less.

xo

Gabby